Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Premeditated pig-out

I wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't have issues with food. I like to eat. I have to be extremely unwell to not eat or god forbid forget to eat. I never forget to eat. My husband does it all the time. He'll come home and say, "I am so hungry!" as he rummages through the fridge looking for a snack. I say, "What did you have for lunch?" thinking it obviously wasn't filling enough. There will be a pause, then: "Lunch?"

But I digress. Suffice to say - I like to eat. I enjoy it - much, much more than your average 'slim' person. From the outside I look like just another slim person walking around. But on the inside, food is still a struggle for me. Even though I follow this nutrition programme, and I have kept my weight pretty much at a 20+ loss, there are still plenty of times when I am feeling tired or stressed and I pig out.

While the pig-out is still the same (I can consume quite a few calories in one sitting!), the thought process around pig-outs is different. I actually think about what I am going to do before I start instead of just mindlessly or defiantly raiding the cupboard and stuffing my face. This is what goes through my mind:

"Hmmm, I really feel like eating potato chips (or chocolate or ice cream or cake). So, if I eat this today that means on Saturday (my regular free meal day) I won't be having my free meal. Hmmm. Do I want still want to do this?" I have to say, 95% of the time when I am feeling like this the answer is YES! There are the times when that upcoming Saturday might be a party or event that I am looking forward to and there will be delicious food involved. I can actually reel myself in and think - no, I can wait and really enjoy my free meal then.

It is clear to me that this is emotional eating. I am trying to solve how I feel with food because it brings me enjoyment. It lifts my mood. I don't think it is a great solution - at all! But it is where I am at right now.

Thankfully, I understand the principles of my nutrition programme to know that one pig-out every so often is not going to saddle me with an extra five pounds. In the past, I would have pigged-out and got depressed about what a failure I was at sticking to a healthy diet. Then I would think, "Well, what the heck. I've wrecked it now, I might as well eat all the stuff I've been wanting." It was the slippery slope of packing on pounds. The premeditated pig-out is definitely an improvement!

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